Nom de plume

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Saffron Smith

Nom de plume

In this article, independent London escort and luxury provider, Saffron Smith, talks about real first names and the importance (or not) of knowing them, writing in 800 words what she probably could have said in 80. Apols.

In my pre-Saffron days, I used this monstrous invention called dating apps. One chilly December evening, I went on a first date with someone whose profile pictures were gorgeous. Perhaps it might sound like a contradiction in terms but his hair was big and bouffy, perfectly coiffed into a curled, cloud-like work of art. In his dating profile, I remember him bemoaning the numerous approaches he’d receive from couples seeking a unicorn (honestly, his hair was great) and how people with B.O. were a huge turn-off for him.  As we strolled along the Embankment, him in a caked suit looking nothing like his photos, me in knee high boots and a chic jumper dress downwind of his B.O., I felt a distinct sense of disappointment. More than that though, I felt a sense of intrigue.

In all the conversations we’d had online before we met, in all the searching questions he’d asked, and the long, intense discussion we’d had on our first date, not once had he asked what my name was. As we walked along the Thames and then got some mulled wine at a Christmas market, I wondered when he would ask what has got to be the most obvious, number one question asked by one new person of another new person. So commonly-asked is it that it has to be a collective cultural reflex closely followed in Anglo-Saxon countries by the tedious question, “What do you do for a living?”. However, the date went by and the opportunity to ask it probably became more embarrassing. When he messaged me later to see if I wanted to meet again, I asked him why he hadn’t asked me my name. His reply? That he was on a dating app and was purely focused on getting laid. No, if only – that would’ve been too truthful. What he said, and with some convincing measure of conviction, were words to the effect of, well, what do names actually matter?

Entering the industry in 2018 and adopting a pseudonym for the first time in my life gave me occasion to revisit this otherwise insignificant time in my life and consider what names, and our knowledge of them, actually matter. Does knowing someone’s first name confer a relationship with greater intimacy and trust? Ask my postman and he would categorically say no and I, for one, would agree. The strongest connections I’ve made in this industry, with both lovers and industry friends alike, are underpinned mostly by complementary personality types, shared values and mutual care – not an obsessive desire to know all things great and small about the other as though we’re in the business of Victorian botany. And it’s precisely because my favourites are this way, that they don’t push any boundaries and that they let our relationships develop naturally and take their own course, that they have become my favourites in the first place – and so there’s something tautological about it all, too. And when I think of it, when do I ever call my lovers by their names? Never. And when does anyone address me by my name? No one, unless they’re my mum and they’re angry at me so why anyone would want to recreate this mood is beyond me.

However, for some particularly curious (read: intrusive) clients, there can be an unhealthy obsession with wanting to discover a provider’s real name as well as other biographical information. On a Venn diagram, I’m sure you’d see that a significant proportion of these clients are exactly the same ones who would attempt to push other boundaries, too. But why this obsessive desire? Besides compromising my security, what benefit does sharing my real name with clients actually have? In a way, the question answers itself. One of the most arduous aspects of being a companion, one far more onerous than tax returns, and which merits an article of its own, is having to manage very large egos. Let’s call it “big dickhead energy” for short. The fact of something being off-limits becomes like catnip to a fragile ego. Being privy to secret, carefully-guarded information equates in the mind of the power-obsessed to an exercise in dominion and control: I know, therefore I am special. You are rendered more vulnerable, therefore I am more powerful. Even more worryingly, there are – fortunately a minority of – clients who delight in asking intrusive questions, making someone uncomfortable, seeing how much they can get away with, and feeling a misplaced sense of superiority as a result.

So if you meet a companion and you feel the urge to ask her what her real name is, do the right thing and repress it. Fin.

Your London Lover

Elite Luxury Middle Eastern GFE Escort in London

Wishlist

Girlfriend Experience

Saffron Smith

Happy Birthday to me!

The first of May heralds the beginning of the best month in the calendar – for not only has spring well and truly sprung but it’s also my birthday month! Thank you to everyone who’s kindly remembered and generously offered to take me out to celebrate it or contacted me to ask what I’d like for my birthday. I really do appreciate your thoughtfulness.

I’ve written here a list of gift ideas that I would absolutely love!  It goes without saying that all gifts great and small are hugely appreciated. If we’re not meeting in person, please contact me for a discreet email address to which gift cards can be sent. Thank you so much in advance!!!

Spa day – After a long lockdown, a day of preening and pampering sounds like unmitigated bliss to me – and what better way to unwind than a spa day at the Berkeley, Akasha or Four Seasons (to take just a few examples)?

PerfumeThé Noir 29 by Le Labo. La Tulipe & No Man’s Land by Byredo. Vanille Fatale & Tobacco Vanille by Tom Ford. Selfridges offer e-gift cards for treasured gentlemen who can’t yet make it to the UK for in-person dates.

Fine dining – Bon vivant that I am, I adore dining out. Hopefully we have birthday dinner plans of our own but if this can’t yet happen, fret not! Some of the restaurants in my to-eat at list including Murano and Pied à Terre offer gift vouchers which make ideal gifts for the epicurean! 

Books – The perfect present for a writer and bibliophile – but also such a novel way (terrible pun intended) of handing someone their “donation”! I’ve been meaning to work my way through this year’s Booker shortlist but I imagine that having the books in it would be a necessary first step in this challenge!  E-gift vouchers also available from Waterstones.

At Night All Blood is Black by David Diop
The Dangers of Smoking in Bed by Mariana Enríquez
When We Cease to Understand the World by Benjamín Labatut
The Employees by Olga Ravn
In Memory of Memory by Maria Stepanova
The War of the Poor by Éric Vuillard

Watch – As some of you may have seen, my Apple watch recently suffered a fatal accident (RIP) and so a replacement would be HUGELY appreciated. The model I have fallen in love with since is here

Stella McCartney thing of beauty – This is the most extravagant item on my wishlist. As some of you know, I rarely covet designer shoes and handbags but this piece of art is an absolutely alluring exception!

Other great gift card ideas include Beauty Bay and John Lewis. Again, I am immensely grateful for all presents – regardless of how big or small. Cliché as it may sound gifts are always appreciated, never expected – and I really am stoked that some of you have reached out with the sole purpose of seeing what I’d like for my birthday. I consider myself to be very lucky indeed – so thank you!

Big kisses,

Saffron xx

Your London Lover

Elite Luxury Middle Eastern GFE Escort in London

Ephemera

London GFE escort

Saffron Smith

Ephemera

London GFE escort, Saffron Smith, writes a short commentary on The Musicians & an even shorter poem on the transience of youth (which is slightly longer but still short).

London GFE escort

It was a moment in time that we thought would last forever

You with your paintbrush, me with my lute, us and our youth and insouciance.

But classical Rome has come and gone, as has 1597, as will your time too, Visitor.

Perhaps before it does, it will be preserved in paint, print, picture or press

but then again perhaps not.

But whether immortalised or not, all other moments will vaporise and vanish into the void you now feel in your heart thinking of it.

Then what remains of your moments, your footsteps, of you?

We were all once 15, and we will all no longer be, and therein, my friend, lies our humanity.

This short poem I wrote was inspired by a Caravaggio painting I recently saw. Walking through a sea of old paintings it was the one above, called The Musicians, which caught my eye. What I found so striking about it was the youth, the attitude and the look of the artist’s subjects. Depicting a group of young men or adolescent boys at a classical Roman era jam, it captures a youthful regard familiar to anyone from any time. Two of the musicians appear to look directly at the “viewer” with the self-possessed confidence of youth that thinks its youth will last forever.

The universal nature of the human condition is what tends to have the most impact on me whether in literature, music or the visual arts. Whilst the musicians in the painting possess an air of invincibility and eternal youth, what jolted me about them was the simple thought that not only are they long-since dead but that so too are their great-great-great-great-great grandchildren. At once, there is both sadness and solace within this. Sadness that everything must come to an end and solace that so it must for everyone.

Every generation suffers the affliction of considering itself – its problems, its issues, its everything – unique to them. Individually, we might from time to time manage to see past the ends of our own noses and gaze beyond our navels. However – as generations, as epochs, as societies – our existences tend to be lived in hermetically-sealed vacuum packs. We appear to exhibit little in the way of knowledge or inquisitive thought of other generations that proceed or precede us, or display much in the way of general historical consciousness.

If we do ever stop to consider earlier generations, even those close to us, it’s often with the thought that bygone times were quaint and antiquated and that we have progressed (or, sometimes, regressed) so much since then. Yet while the way we live our lives has changed considerably over the years, many of the issues we grapple with have remained constant. Whether concerning issues relating to the personal questions which occupy our thoughts, navigating our journey through the world, finding comfort in the space we occupy within it or many of the issues surrounding our relationships with other humans – all of these matters have been grappled with for millennia, never mind centuries. This is something I draw comfort and reassurance from. Our youth may be passed to the soundtrack of older folk falsely invoking “the good old days” but really they were just “other days”.

Your London Lover

Elite Luxury Middle Eastern GFE Escort in London

Social dates & rates

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Saffron Smith

Social dates & rates

London-based GFE escort & companion, Saffron Smith, launches social dates – a perfect solution for this new era of social distancing & beyond!

As with other independent escorts, the easing of lockdown measures has heralded an increase in enquiries to the bat phone. After 11 weeks of lockdown, it would appear that the gentle- and not so gentlemen of the UK are chomping at the bit for the company of luxury companions. For too many people, married and single alike, the past two and a half months have witnessed the driest period in our sex lives since early adolescence, and the feeling that some of us have become extras in the cast of The Inbetweeners – an unnerving plot twist on life becoming “art” becoming life again and the horrifying thought that The Inbetweeners might now be actually having more sex than us (*shiver*).

Interestingly though – and perhaps unsurprisingly – a few of the queries I’ve been receiving of late have been about the possibility of social dates. That’s right: socially-distanced platonic dates. How interesting the times we live in have become, and yet how revealing and reassuring they are of our intrinsic human desire for connection – to see a face, a different face and one that’s not on Zoom. Yes, it’s been fun working from the comfort of our sofas (or suitcases stuffed with duvets in my case), only making an effort from the waist up for work video calls, being freed from office small talk and eating more cheese toasties in the past two months than we did in the previous 20 years but we’re all ready for actual fun now.

Without meaning to sound as though I’m glancing back at the Belle Époque, now, more than ever, many of us are realising how precious our pre-lockdown days were. The immeasurable warmth of seeing someone’s face beaming at seeing you again. Eagerly picking up the threads of the last conversation and weaving it into a new one with stories we entertain each other with. Looking to the other for shared and differing insights and perspectives on what’s going on, and wrong, in the world around us. Laughing at each other’s jokes in a fan club composed of only two members. When you think of it like that, it’s really no wonder that social dates would actually be a thing.

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In fact, one of my favourite memories of last summer was of a social date, when an exceedingly special gentleman took me to see Evita at Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre. I’ll always remember how magical that evening was – the stage framed by a canopy of trees, dusk gently falling over us and the lights illuminating the night sky. Sigh. Last year also saw me eating my way around London’s Japanese restaurants whilst marvelling at the intellectual brilliance and surrealist humour of the bewitching company I was in.

When I think of it, quite a few memorable experiences I’ve had as Saffron Smith have been social dates and, as this becomes an increasingly sought-after experience, I’m pleased to announce the introduction of new social rates! Of course, until we see the reopening of restaurants, bars, theatres and such like, we will have to become inventive about the kind of fun we create but here are a few ideas – as well as the new rates!

A Walk in the Park | 1 hour | £300

Perhaps you’re back at the office and time-pressed with only an hour for lunch. Perhaps you’re not back at the office but pressed for excuses. Or perhaps you’re such a stickler for rules, you’re sticking to the old ones which only permitted an hour of outdoor exercise. Whatever the case may be, why not grab a coffee together, go for a walk in the park and shoot the breeze for an hour? Chances are it’s just the tonic you need after a monotonous diet of the same faces.

Sandwich me into your day | 2 hours | £450

Honestly, coming up with names for social dates is worryingly beyond my abilities as a writer but, as I always say, why let lack of ability put you off trying?! But whilst we’re on the subject, what’s the point of having names for dates anyway? Is it to add allure, to make things sound less “bald” or more innocent? I have no idea. When I began life as a companion in 2018 though, references to “dessert” on other providers’ rates pages had me stumped. Why casually bring something as important as dessert into conversation and not actually mean it?  Anyway, I digress. You can tell I’ve spent lockdown watching a lot of Seinfeld. So yeah: roll, wrap, burrito, something that at least has the spirit of a sandwich and I will be the Elaine to your Jerry – or another sitcom sidekick to sitcom star – for two hours.

Picnic Party | 3 hours | £550

Luckily, lockdown has coincided with the longest stretch of sunny weather we’ve had in living memory. In a world currently devoid of city breaks and beach holidays, picnics and garden parties are where summer 2020’s at. Let’s take a hamper and blanket to the park, flirt at a one or two-metre distance depending on the applicable official advice, and pretend we’re on holiday for a couple of hours! For trusted clients who are able to host, why not take the party to your back garden with a romantic meal for two and a glass of bubbles?!

Sure, lockdown might have temporarily closed our natural habitats of bars and restaurants but, with some creative thought, it certainly doesn’t need to spell the end of our fun together! For further enquiries about booking a social date (or a regular one), feel free to use my booking form or contact me by email.

Your London Lover

Elite Luxury Middle Eastern GFE Escort in London

Dinner dates

Luxury provider

Saffron Smith

An Ode to the Dinner Date

In this short piece, London GFE escort and companion, Saffron Smith, pens a love letter to one of her greatest loves: the dinner date.

Dinner dates are my favourite kind of dates – with breakfast dates, brunch dates and lunch dates coming a close joint second. Every species has its own courtship ritual: male bowerbirds construct luxury bachelor pads for their mates, blue-capped cordon-bleu songbirds perform high speed tap dances, male mice sing ultrasonic songs, and us humans have dinner and drinks. It’s not even just the rules, it’s the actual laws of nature. And who are we, as mere ephemeral mortals, to defy them?

While shorter assignations have their own illicit charm, my preference will always be for longer trysts. The best connections take place on different levels: physical, sexual, intellectual and spiritual – to name but a few – and it is the dinner date that lends itself well to forming them. Sharing a bottle of wine and connecting over food offers such a simple and sensorial way of bonding: a time to relax, a time to share a social experience, a time to be ourselves together.

The natural evanescence of pre-date nerves and their replacement with unforced familiarity and growing connection. The peaking of interest: getting to know someone else, feeling intrigue and curiosity, learning some of the ingredients that make up the other person. The building of connection: getting a taste of what we each value in life and making each other laugh. The delicious anticipation of a sensational soirée to come, the exchange of flirty glances and knowing looks. In short: the magic of connection and the creation of a pocket in space and time where nothing else matters beyond the here and now.

As a born and bred Londoner, I consider myself lucky to live in a city whose restaurant scene is nothing short of dazzling. Allow me to play culinary tour guide and make suggestions based on your own palate’s preferences or your aesthetic interests. Place your trust in me and try some of my favourites or, even better, why not explore somewhere new together? My well-researched to-eat-at list includes Pied à Terre – one of London’s longest running Michelin-starred restaurants, Gauthier Soho – the first fine dining restaurant in London to offer a vegan menu, and Nutshell – the latest Iranian restaurant to join the capital.

I know that people who “eat to live” walk among us but as an earthy, sensual, live-for-the-moment kind of gal, I most definitely originate from the “live to eat” tribe – even if my body tells a more slender story. And dinner dates are by far one of my favourite activities. After all, are there any greater combinations on earth than food and sex – or tasting menus and wine pairings?

But enough about why I love dinner dates. What might they be like from your perspective? Allow me to imagine for a moment:

You lift your gaze from the restaurant menu and see me walk towards you. You have been looking forward to this moment for quite some time, imagining what the face behind the blur is like and now that much anticipated moment has finally arrived. The first thing you notice is my confident and graceful gait and, as I approach closer, the second thing you notice is my strikingly beautiful face, the radiant smile I wear and how it seems to fill the room. You look admiringly at my toned physique, casting your eyes over my alluring curves and the way my elegant style appears to wrap them. You return my smile and internally pat yourself on the back for making the choice to get in touch with me.

Greeting each other simultaneously with the zest of new lovers and the familiarity of old flames, you’re instantly set at ease. Almond-shaped, chocolate brown and communicating animation, warmth and interest, my eyes lock with yours. You feel an instant connection and sense its reciprocation. You look approvingly at my natural beauty: high cheekbones, full lips and the clear, caramel complexion you’ve seen in my photos and feel intense attraction. You think of some of the more revealing of my pictures and smile to yourself about the secret we already share and the secrets we’ll share later.

Perhaps you’ve just read what I’ve written here or perhaps you’ve also followed me on Twitter, but my writing and humour have piqued your interest, you’ve a strong feeling we’re going to get on but you’re intrigued to see just how well we’ll connect. All your expectations are exceeded. Our date reminds you of how essential it is to enjoy authentic connection, to be with someone who is at once interested and interesting, to feel connected to the present and yet also somehow feel as though you’re taking a mini-vacation from your everyday.

My easy laugh enchants you. My natural interest and unfeigned curiosity engage you. My looks enrapture you. You wonder why we didn’t meet sooner. So what are *you* waiting for? Go to my website booking form or craft an introductory email and let’s begin penning our very own story.

Your London Lover

Elite Luxury Middle Eastern GFE Escort in London

“Hunted” by a High Class English Escort

london independent escorts

Hunted: a poem

Languidly and languorously,

She lies in wait.

The lure of her allure —

at once hunter and hunted

and you, her delicious bait.

Your London Lover

Elite Luxury Middle Eastern GFE Escort in London

The First Approach

High Class Escort London

Saffron Smith

The First Approach

Thinking of getting in touch with an independent escort? Wondering how to do it? Then look no further! Saffron Smith has some top tips on how to make a date with an independent escort.

Last week, I had the privilege of seeing one of my favourite clients. Charming, upbeat and pleasant company, our date was so much fun and whizzed by as per usual. There’s many a time when I connect with someone special as a luxury companion and marvel at my good fortune at having even met them to begin with. Yes, I know it’s not unusual to have the experience of being booked as an escort if you’ve advertised on a website for independent escorts. However, what is beyond my control as a companion is who even gets to see my profile, and reaches out to me, in the first place.

High class escorts may have different approaches to marketing – and then, of course, have full control in filtering and screening who they eventually get to see – but, generally speaking, it is the prospective client who initiates contact. Because of life’s lottery – of someone choosing to contact me when London already possesses a plethora of beautiful GFE escorts – I genuinely thank my lucky stars when I meet outstanding human beings in my secret role as Saffron Smith.

That feeling of serendipity or luck is amplified where the date nearly never took place. Perhaps I only got to meet a gentleman because he unexpectedly visited the UK instead of a different corner of the globe he normally travels to. Perhaps his trip to London was a whistle stop tour packed full of work and social engagements with just a narrow window for an illicit encounter with a high class companion. Perhaps he made a chance hashtag search on Twitter, or saw a comment made on another luxury provider’s tweet, or took a sneak peek at an advertising platform he doesn’t usually use. Or perhaps, as with the case of my client – the charming, upbeat, fun guy mentioned in my opening paragraph – there was something a little bit off, shall we say, about his original contact.

Before I go on, it’s important to state that there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to contacting escorts – petite escorts, brunette escorts, British escorts, touring and FMTY escorts, English escorts or any other escorts for that matter. All of us have our own opinions about the type of communications we prefer with some views converging and others diverging. So before I caveat everything I write here in the naturally self-editing style of almost everyone I know over the age of 30, let me just say that while the opinions I express here may be shared by many others, they are my own and that my suggestions are just that, too. And so here they are: my suggestions on comms with independent companions.

1. Follow instructions

We are all sometimes guilty of diving into things headfirst, of not reading a recipe through before  attempting to execute it, or failing to read instructions before assembling a piece of furniture. We’re too excited for that dish to land on our plate, or overly confident in our abilities to pull it off, or lack the attention span to read the instructions – or all of the above. But first impressions count, particularly in an industry where the people who populate it necessarily perform perpetual risk assessments as standard. So you’ve come across an elite escort you’d love to see? Great! Then create a positive first impression by doing your utmost to read her website and/or advertisements carefully and reaching out to her via her preferred mode of communication with all requested information. 

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2. Keep it concise – but not too concise

On the spectrum of conciseness, there exist two extremes. On the one end of this spectrum resides the “U avails” and solitary “Hi” and “Hellos” (invariably followed by a series of question marks to indicate that the author deems you lacked the good sense to reply to them in the first place). On the other end of the spectrum of concision, lies the more verbose of messages, the fantasist copy-paste templates sent presumably to every independent escort in the entire universe. One of our tasks as independent companions is to sort out the more serious-sounding enquiries from the not-so. My client top tip would be to think of your initial enquiry as a sandwich (albeit a very sexy one like from the overpriced bakers down the road or Pret’s Hot section). Introduce yourself in the first slice of this metaphorical sandwich (“I’m white and athletic” doesn’t cut it, I’m afraid), use the filling to set out what made you choose to get in touch with your selected high end provider and how you came across their profile, then use the last slice to specify the proposed time, date, duration and location of the booking.

3. Inter-date communications

I have seen interesting discussion on this subject of late. The rate an escort is paid is for her companionship during the time of your date. Unless otherwise specified, it does not constitute payment for an online correspondence course. There are clients who initiate contact only to make dates. There are clients – and independent escorts – who reach out on an impromptu or more regular basis. Perhaps we’re checking in on you (discreetly) to see how an operation went, to find out how your course is going, to wish you luck for a sporting event or because we saw something which made us think of a private joke we share or something we thought suited your personality down to the ground. Everyone has their own approach to communications between dates and there are no hard and fast rules. But for some gentlemen, there may arise confusion between the Girlfriend Experience and actually being someone’s girlfriend. Don’t suck the joy out of the special world we create together by becoming an emotional vampire. In cases like this, you might find it useful to remind yourself that you met through an escort website – not eHarmony or Match.com. As for the minority of pernicious clients who feel entitled to a provider’s time between dates, who dangle the carrot of financial reward for a future potential date and expect a provider to dance for it? Well, I have no words.

So there you have it, my latest blog post on making a date and general comms with independent escorts. I hope you have found it helpful and, hopefully, a bit funny too.

Your London Lover

Elite Luxury Middle Eastern GFE Escort in London

Medusa, the Elite Courtesan

Saffron Smith

Medusa: a poem

Stuck for words to accompany a recent picture from my photo shoot, one of me wearing serpentine lingerie, I hunted on the internet for a Medusa-related poem. Finding none that failed to provoke terror, depression, or terror and depression, I composed a poem myself. I was particularly inspired; writing it whilst in the queue for the self-service checkout at my local M&S. But enough of my artistic rambling preamble. Here it is:

 

Silken serpents bind us, unwind us

Chestnut tresses,

sweet caresses

And a glance over my shoulder, 

at our stolen moments together.

 

 

 

 

 

Your London Lover

Elite Luxury Middle Eastern GFE Escort in London

Seaside: Photographed – a review

Saffron Smith

Seaside: Photographed - a review

So I know I said I’d write a blog post about the Kent Riviera before the summer was out and that it’s now September, but this weekend is meant to be 18 degrees with the weather forecast to be a cloud with a bit of sun peeking out behind it so, in England, this still counts as summer. There may be a breeze which whispers of a not-so-far-away winter, we may be in the process of passing down the baton of summer to Australia and the trees may have already received the memo that autumn has begun its inexorable creep – but this weekend’s weather is forecast to be a cloud with a bit of sun and that’s that.

Back in the actual proper summer though, when the weather was a whole sun unfettered by a cloud (there were approximately 13 days like this in England), I went to the beach. When I say “I” went to the beach, what I mean is that five-eighths of London came with me; for the moment we actually have a decent bit of weather that coincides with a weekend, that is what Londoners do – we pour out onto the seaside whilst acting half-surprised half-pissed off that everyone else had the exact same uncopyrighted idea.

That weekend, which now feels so long ago, I went to Margate and saw the best exhibition I’ve seen so far this year – and this weekend is the last time to catch it. “Seaside: Photographed” at the Turner Contemporary features photographs from the Victorian times to the present and boasts the work of several renowned photographers including Martin Parr, Jane Bown and Ingrid Pollard. Equally impressive is the poetic and evocative way in which this exhibition is narrated by its talented curators, Val Williams and Karen Shepherdson.

Irrespective of where you’re from in England – metropolis, suburbia or village, landlocked or not – the coast holds rich symbolism and nostalgia for many of us, and the photographs and storytelling behind this exhibition deftly capture that. Walking through this well-curated display feels like an act of nostalgia for both memories we have and haven’t. Sad arcades empty of people but full of penny-pushing and plush toy-pulling machines. Seafood stalls selling cockles, whelks and mussels seasoned with sand and vinegar; the latter appearing as much for killing off salmonella as for flavour. Sticks of rock, ends tattooed with the names of depressed and depressing coastal towns, promising dental disaster or destined to see out the rest of their days at the front of the cutlery drawer beside straws pilfered from fast food joints.

Making my way along the seafront to the gallery, I’d felt slight sadness; a forgotten memory, now remembered, of the English seaside. Its simultaneous over- and under-development; cultural collateral of the package holiday which, in turn, made victims of many a Mediterranean town. But re-emerging from the gallery, I felt differently. Not because the exhibition portrayed the seaside with cloying sentimentality or false celebration but because of its reality and realness, because it simply showed its subject as it is. Yes, the stereotypical seaside resort is unquestionably grotty but that grottiness is precisely part of its enduring charm.

Your London Lover

Elite Luxury Middle Eastern GFE Escort in London

#Goals: my personal bucket list

GFE escort London

Saffron Smith


#Goals: my personal bucket list

Whether it’s the inevitable stamp of a long series of academic calendars on my consciousness long after graduation, or the inescapable fact that the second half of the year is well underway, there’s something about this time of year, this run up to the back to school period, which makes me think about my goals for the year ahead and beyond. (There’s also something about reading Milkman which has hampered my ability to write short, clear, unconfused sentences.) Professional (day job, night job), personal (sporting, linguistic, travel) etc; no sphere of my life is immune from division and subdivision, as well as a review of where I’m at and where I want to go and the undeniable chasm between the two. In the interests of absolutely no one – potential boredom for you, undoubtable accountability for me – I have written here a few of the things I intend to do over the next couple of years.

Sensorial experiences

There is a special place in my heart for bon viveurs, for those who know how to live and who live well. Similarly, I hold a lot of admiration for creative people and for those whose crafts depend upon their highly developed senses. Although I’m perhaps more gourmand than gourmet, there are several restaurants in London which are on my to-eat-at list including (…deep breath…) Galvin La ChapelleLe GavrocheTextureGauthier SohoTamarindSocial Eating HousePied à Terre, and Alyn Williams at the Westbury. I intend to create a near-future full of adventure with wine tasting experiences, finding out the basics of being a parfumier, learning different types of massage, going on mini cookery courses, continuing my attempt to understand art and all its incarnations, as well as making the most of this city’s cultural offerings of theatre, opera and dance.

Vitamin Sea

   Independent courtesan London                                                  

I love the sea; the feeling I get from its external horizons opening my internal ones, and the reminder it gives me of my own insignificance beside its own expansiveness. I love the idea of learning how to sail in the Mediterranean, how to free dive in the Philippines, and how to surf in Sri Lanka, as well as stand up paddle boarding between Greek islands, snorkelling in the Maldives, coastal swimming in Turkey – and all while drinking coconut water out of coconuts and cocktails out of disembowelled pineapples. Renowned amongst my friends and family for an unrivalled collection of – mostly raunchy and ridiculous – swimwear, I sense that the next 12-24 months will be the time for me to finally put all of this apparel to good use.

Arctic adventures

                                             

Imagine walking through pine-forested landscapes, crunching snow underfoot, and crisp, blue skies overhead. Discovering winter activities like ice hole swimming, snow shoeing and cross-country skiing. Warming up in a sauna and then snuggling up beside a log fire with hot chocolate and new books in hand. Spending passionate evenings under the northern lights and star-studded skies followed by romantic mornings with breakfast in bed. These are just a few of the things that come to mind when I see pictures of the glass igloos at the Kakslauttanen Arctic Resort in Finland – a magical place that’s been on my travel wish list for some time now.

Learn how to play guitar

      

When I was a kid, I was sent to violin lessons in the hope I’d become our council estate’s answer to Stéphane Grappelli whilst all I actually wanted was to learn how to play the EastEnders theme tune. Neither of these grand ambitions were fulfilled and today I am pretty musically illiterate. In a bid to do something about this, my flatmate gifted me a guitar of his that he won in a raffle last Christmas. But in the absence of guitar lessons, this instrument sits quite fraudulently in my bedroom in a way that’s reminiscent of those 80s/90s pop singers who would take to the stage, guitars in hand, ostensibly strumming them quite exuberantly before exposing themselves as musical charlatans when the time inevitably came for them to raise their arms and clap their way through the chorus. This year, my friends, is the year I learn to play Blackbird on the guitar. Or maybe finally EastEnders.

 

Your London Lover

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Saffron Smith